52 WEEKS
Week 7— Positivity
The great thing about positivity is, it takes no more work or effort than negativity.
If anything, negativity is hard.
We have a frown on our face. The world is cold and cynical. No hope. No optimism.
I’ll tell ya, getting through a day of negativity sounds like a lot of work!
And then, no one wants to be around us because we make them feel bad.
Negativity breeds negativity
Do you want to be popular or well-liked?
Make people feel good!
If you make people feel good, they’ll want to be around you.
Find something you really like about someone, and don’t be shy about saying so. Compliment people.
Maybe it’s their nails. Or dude’s car. Or their taste in clothes. Try to find something maybe other people don’t notice as much.
Also, we shouldn’t only compliment people when we want something.
Do it for no other reason than to brighten the day of a fellow human being.
Positivity breeds positivity
Most of us are starved for a kind word or a pat on the back. A well-timed compliment, that’s honest and true, could mean the world to us.
Unfortunately, we tend to be a lot quicker to complain and criticize.
We make all these excuses and rationales for ourselves, but none for the other person. It’s the old, ‘If I don’t do this thing, it’s because I don’t want to, or had a bad experience. But if HE doesn’t do this thing, it’s because he’s an idiot!’
We should try to give other people the same benefit of the doubt we want for ourselves.
I had a teacher in high school once, who did something extraordinary.
On the first day of class, after we were all seated, he announced that every single one us had gotten an A+ for the semester.
He even had us give ourselves a round of applause!
And then he said, for the rest of the semester, only the things we did or didn’t do, could lower that grade.
And I still remember that, 40 years later.
Because that’s how I meet people now.
Everybody I meet is the best, coolest person I’ve ever met in my life. I give them an A+ !
(until such time as their actions warrant a lower grade)
And that time may never come.
Of course, if I get rear-ended in traffic by someone, that person’s not getting an A+ when I meet ’em. No gold star on that report card…
But that’s the essence of positivity. The hope, the desire, that everyone we meet deserves an A+
You know, we all live in the exact same world. The only difference is us, and how we view that world.
How we view the glass is a choice.
And if the choice is positivity or negativity? That’s no choice at all.
We’re never going to be happy if we think the world sucks. Maybe some of it does suck, but most of it doesn’t.
Positivity doesn’t mean we’re ignoring negativity. It just means we’re not empowering negativity, beyond the power it already has.
And finally, if you’re having a bad day (and let’s face it, not every day can be Mardi Gras) there’s a little trick you can use to maybe turn your mood around.
I got this from watching Tony Robbins, the Grand Poo-bah of empowerment-based self-help. He has this bit where he talks about “changing your state.” The idea is when we’re feeling sad or depressed, we’re kinda hunched over, we’re frowning, our breathing changes. It affects us physically! So he said, basically, put the cart in front of the horse. Change your state. Sit up straight! Or walk upright. Change your breathing. Smile!!! Do this for a couple minutes, and you’ll either feel a lot better, or a lot silly.
Either way, it’s better than sad or depressed.
Change your state.
Thank you for that, Sir Robin.
AFTERTHOUGHT
— We should never lie when we compliment someone. If we’re lying, it’s no longer a compliment. It’s an insult.