Week 18— Honesty is Easy
We control our honesty. Nobody else.
Lying is a lot of work.
We have to remember our lies. Worry about getting caught.
And people know.
And if they don’t know, they sense that, this is not an honest person.
Let’s say I were to lie about an achievement and it gets a positive effect.
Well, I didn’t actually achieve anything, because it’s all based on a lie and I know it.
Now I got a LIE hanging over my head (that I have to keep track of) and if people find out it’s a lie? I get in trouble.
Maybe lose someone’s trust.
And if the lie doesn’t get a positive effect, then I failed, even though I lied.
I can’t do anything right!
Lying is a lose/lose proposition.
Jack Nicholson once said, “I only lie to girlfriends and the police.” And, really, since very few of us are either his girlfriend or the police, what he was really saying, was I DON’T LIE.
And that’s a way of life. Total Honesty. Across the board.
Even to girlfriends, boyfriends OR the police!
(Well, with the police, use your best judgment)
(Although, if you find yourself lying to the police, you might have some other problems)
And it’s so unnecessary. All the lies. The dishonesty.
Because HONESTY IS EASY.
It’s about the easiest thing in the whole world.
That’s because our honesty is one of the few things in this life we have complete control over.
WE control our honesty. We control our integrity. Nobody else!
And we don’t need anybody’s permission, either.
Please, please, can I be honest?
Hell, no. We decide!
It’s the stuff we can’t control that’s hard.
Of course, just because something is true doesn’t mean we have to say it out loud. We don’t want to piss people off or lose friends.
But everything we choose to say… should be the truth. Why not? If we’re not going to be honest with others, we’re never gonna be honest with ourselves, and that’s the whole ballgame.
And, yes, sometimes, the truth HURTS.
It can be brutal and unforgiving.
But it’s worth it. All of it. Telling the truth. Being an honest and truthful person. To others and ourselves.
Because when all is said and done, there’s only one thing that really matters when it comes to the truth.
And that is the truth will set us free.
And it’s easy!
— If we’re lying to ourselves, that means we’re living in a fantasy world. And that can make it real hard to be successful in the REAL world.
— Lies have a certain convenience to them. A ‘convenience liar’ will always give the answer that either casts them in the best possible light, or causes the least amount of Disturbance in the Force. Preferably both.
— I had a childhood friend who had a little problem with the truth. He used to lie so often, he became not only good at lying, but really good at covering up the lies when he was caught. He was like a crack addict without the crack. For him, the truth was… a coincidence. Just something he stumbled onto in the course of a day.
I told my friend once that I don’t lie anymore, and I’ll never forget his reaction.
He didn’t believe me.
— Were you ever in a situation where you’re telling the truth… but people think you’re lying? And they start looking at you suspiciously? And then you start stumbling and stammering, No, I, dah dah dah, I didn’t, dah dah dah… and you’re thinking to yourself, OMG, I sound like I’m lying! I don’t believe me! AAHHHH!!!!
— People who don’t lie usually end up being real bad at lying.