Week 1 3— The Root of All Evil
And it ain’t money
They say that money is the root of all evil.
But money’s not a root.
It’s a tool.
How can something be the root of all evil if it’s not even a root?
And if they’re talking about greed, I don’t think that’s a root, either. It’s more like the result of something else.
I think the root of all evil (if I had to pick one) is INSECURITY.
I was tempted to include ignorance, like the combination of ignorance and insecurity is the root of all evil!
But then I got to thinking…. ignorance isn’t really the problem, is it?
Ignorance can be our friend.
I love my ignorance and we’re set to be married. Don’t judge us.
But ignorance only works for us if we admit our ignorance, to others and ourselves.
And guess what insecurity is really good at??
Keeping us from admitting our ignorance! So we don’t get to learn, or grow, or change.
Insecurity is the Big Bad of life.
Most forms of dishonesty come from insecurity. A person isn’t secure enough with themselves to be honest with others. So they make stuff up.
Racism is insecurity. A racist has no self-esteem, so they puff themselves up and point their finger and say, “I’m better than you!”
And don’t get me started on jealousy. Extreme jealousy is insecurity’s best friend.
(It’s also a great way to find out who’s insecure and who isn’t)
The best example I have of what can cause insecurity comes from a close childhood friend.
He had a very powerful, dominant mother. And she loved her cubs. Nobody would go more out of her way, or fight harder to protect her kids, than this woman.
You’ve never seen such love!
But, she’d also GO OFF on my friend, like “you never do anything right, you’re a piece of shit, you’re just like your father, you’ve ruined my life!!! AAHHHHH!!!!!”
And it was those extremes — the extreme love and the extreme AHHHHH that created my friend’s deep insecurity.
Took the poor bastard years to get over it!
Insecurity is the lack of security.
And security needs three (3) things: Consistency, safety, and positive reinforcement. All at the earliest age possible.
And if you luck into all three (3) of these growing up, you’re probably going to be a pretty secure person.
You might have a bunch of other problems- including a lack of confidence- but insecurity won’t be one of them.
Also, insecurity can be fixed, mostly by (1) time, and (2) trying to re-create those three things in our life today.
Consistency. Try to minimize the extremes in our lives.
A feeling of Safety. What is security if not safety?
And consistent, Positive Reinforcement.
Ultimately, we are responsible for all of these… including our own positive reinforcement.
We can hope for kindness and good will of others, but we should never depend on it.
Because WE are the only guarantee we have.
The only thing we can be 100% sure of.
And if our goal is to add a little more security to our life, a guarantee is a good place to start.
— Insecure people are always threatened by others who are different. Which is not the same as being awkward around others who are different.
— Pretty much everything bad about people, in one way or another, stems from insecurity. That thought stands the test of time.
— Can you imagine an insecure person admitting they’re ignorant about something? Saying “maybe I should’ve known this thing, but I didn’t. I was ignorant, but now I’ve learned.”
Yeah, right. A normal person would have trouble with that. But an insecure person??